Data Mining in Search of a Spouse and a Lover

By: Gordon Lawrence

One of the realities of working at a credit call center is access to customer data.
It’s all here:
  • Name
  • Address
  • Age / Date of Birth
  • Social Security Number
  • Spouse (if any)
  • Own or Rent
  • Credit Record
  • History of Payments
  • …….and a detailed list of purchases.

None of this mattered very much to me until Patricia mentioned it at break.

“So I check out the record and see if he’s someone I might be interested in.”  “Wait a minute,” I replied.  ”You’re saying you look for dates using the customer data?” Patricia, very attractive at 40 years of age, could easily pass for early-thirties.

“Gordon, get with the program!” she laughed. “This morning I had a good call with a guy who lives about 50 miles from here.  He has a nice house, no wife, great credit, a really good job and likes country dancing.”

“Patricia, how do you know that he likes country dancing?  Does he buy Country CD’s or DVD’s?” I asked.Patricia laughed again. She was enjoying this conversation.”Actually I did look over his buys for the last two months, but I got the country dancing info from him.”

Totally fascinated, I nodded my head for her to continue.

“So I check the records when he starts talking and then I ask a few questions.  For this guy I asked if a particular country music dance hall was in his town.  I’m glad to say he was a regular so we’ll meet there this Saturday night. And since he likes country music, there’s a good chance he’s my type.”

I asked her if she was looking for a date, for a fun night on the town. “Noooooooo.  I don’t need to drive an hour for that.”

Husband or Sugar Daddy

She looked at me and laughed, “I’m going for either a husband or a sugar daddy.”

Patricia continued, “He lives in a house appraised for $1,375,000. I google mapped his address; the place is huge.  He pays off a $3,000 to $5,000 credit card bill each month.  He’s 42 and single.  By his gas bills he drives a big car or truck and it’s paid for.  His FICO score is 765, he has never missed a payment and his credit line with us is $45 k. He also has an AMEX platinum card – honey, that carries a sweet $450 annual fee.”

Pat was on a roll, “I like his purchases. Good clothes. Good drinker, top-shelf alcohol.   And nothing weird in his purchases. Very nice restaurants. He is definitely not cheap. Everything checks out.”

“But Patricia, how do you know what he looks like?” I asked.”Yes, that’s an open question.  I need to go there to find out.  I’ve already married for love, so now I’ll be marrying for money.”

She laughed and said, “Hey, tell me you’re not interested in some of your callers.  I heard you smooth talking somebody yesterday.”

“Sure, sometimes I wonder what customers look like but I’ve got to give it to you. Patricia, you give a whole new meaning to online dating,” I answered. She laughed loudly and said, “Well, I prefer to call it consumer research.”

Break time was up and she took my arm and said, “Come on, Gordon, you’re all I’ve got right now so walk me back to my desk.”

As we strolled back, her arm through mine, I asked one last question, “Patricia, what if he’s perfect but he doesn’t like you.”

Without missing a beat, she turned on a beautiful, white-teeth, blue-eyed, cute dimple smile, and said, “Gordon, have you seen my sales totals?  Trust me, if I can close sales around here, how do you think I’ll do at the dance hall, when I’m really trying.  If he’s the real deal, I will close the sale. Believe me, I will close the sale.”



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I welcome your comments.

Gordon Lawrence.

……..Next time: The Perp Walk


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